RULES FOR LIFE
1. Don’t be shit*y. (that's how I edit swear words...)
2. Don’t make happy people sad.
3. Don’t make sad people sadder.
5. Flush the toilet behind you. You’re grossing us all out.
6. Support the under-dog.
8. Real bullies are complete assholes but they can’t recognize themselves as such so maybe spray paint an “x” on their forehead so that we can all just recognize them from a distance and ignore them.
9. Be stupid. Be childlike. Be ridiculous. Be happy.
10. Don’t use the word “literally” when you really mean “figuratively”. It literally makes me want to stab you a little but I don’t do it because that’s illegal and also because I have a very limited amount of knives.
11. Read more. Watch shows that inspire you. Embrace whatever makes you geek out. Even if it’s Laura Ingalls. Because Laura Ingalls is fascinating and there’s nothing wrong with obsessively knowing every detail about her life and death. Stop judging me.
12. Bite off more than you can chew. You can always spit it out on the floor if you decide you don’t like it. Women do it all the time.