Friday, April 25, 2014

heave ho here we go

I am still pregnant. I know that I'm not overdue yet (due date April 30), but my chances of going early are getting pretty slim now. I had a dr. appt today and she doesn't think it's happening any time in here I sit...a giant blob on the couch. I don't quite think it's the pregnancy thing I'm sick of, I love to feel my baby and I love that my belly is so giant and so round and that my belly button pokes out no matter what I wear, I think it's the 'being fat' that I'm getting sick of. You know, how about 3 things fit in my closet, none of them being pants. And how I look in the mirror and can't recognize myself because of the excess amount of cheeks I'm carrying. Or how, whether I'm eating healthy or not, I still feel disgusting (so what's the point in trying). I just really want to be able strap some jeans on like I used to in the olden days - when everything wasn't a heave HO effort. I haven't worn a pair of jeans, maternity or otherwise, for about 3+ months. It's just not worth the struggle. So that heaving and ho'ing I'm speaking of is just to get my stretchy pants on.........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Let's all just cross our fingers this baby gets here soon, because I'm quite excited to see it's face and hopefully, eventually, my own face again.

We're pretty ready for this kid to come along I'd say, way more so than with H-Bott. With him, we just figured everything would pan out on it's own. Little did I know, I wouldn't be able to walk normally for this time I think we've prepped a bit better to have a newborn around. I've got somewhere for it to sleep and even bought it some diapers. Gender neutral clothes are so easy these days, haven't struggled much with that but I'm still dying to find out so I can start to REALLY get to spending the money I quite literally do not have.

One thing I'm finding very difficult to think about is me going into labor and having to take Henry elsewhere while I attain another child. I hate thinking about it. I hate thinking about how drastically I'm going to change his entire life in a matter of days (hopefully it doesn't take days, but I try not to be all). It's just been me and him for two years, and I will miss that. I know, I know - it will all be wonderful and better than I ever imagined seeing both of them together, but just let me wallow in anxiety for a second. Having just one little buddy has been quite a nice every-day party.

I don't put any effort into the pictures I take anymore, my ability to be lazy has developed quite wonderfully during this pregnancy, so here's some snaps from my phone:

 At the zoo. I walked Hen through that tunnel that is behind him, being the good mother that I am. About half way through (I was crouched completely down and bent over at 90 degrees) I realized I was in trouble. I pretty much yelped through the rest of it....and was quite surprised I didn't go into labor or kill myself or the baby or both of us (everyone's doing fine).

 He got a sunburn at the park the other day, so figuring he needed a hat - we ventured to the mall to find one. I tried on the infant ones, too small. Tried on the toddler sizes, too small. SO - youth size BIG HEAD it was....ha ha he has such a noggin, that one.

 Easter montage!!!! We did a little egg hunt for him, wherein we put yogurt covered raisins and fruit snacks in some plastic eggs. Dix was in town, and she thought it would be fun if he could just open the egg and pop a treat right in his mouth, without having to wait (you can tell how we like our treats). And it WAS fun...but after sneaking one out from under him and tasting it...they all just tasted like plastic eggs. So gross....and I'm sure that was wonderfully healthy and good for him to ingest.

 Takin selfies! He still loves to see himself on screen! Me - not so much, but I take them anyway. I guess it's just the generation I was born into...gotta have a selfie, feelin good or otherwise. I am definitely on the end of "otherwise".

It sure pays to have a face like this when your mom gives you a hack job of a haircut!
(Before the haircut). This is our life. The whole gang just sits on Al's desk and watches him study all day, every day. I'm usually sitting right next to Hen here but hopped off (I'm SO very agile) to snap this. I have been noticing Henry has the same shirt on in about every pic here....I guess maybe he doesn't need that entire dresser and closet of clothes in his room? HA! what a joke. Of course he does.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

you hardly noticed I was gone

I have come to write on this blog about 7 times and then never posted anything. A couple of times, I started telling about how I am pregnant again, but for some reason never hit "publish" and then it just seemed too far gone...the last I posted of Henry he was still a wee-little baby aaaand now he's BIG.

Like, so stupidly big. He knows what he wants and he gets what he wants and he likes that....and I don't mind it either because what else do I really have to do other than give him what he wants? Who needs valuable life lessons anyway....

Henry is around 20'ish months old (I keep losing track) and I am around 37'ish weeks pregnant (just kidding I'm EXACTLY 37 weeks pregnant - I am sadly not losing track of that). People say their second pregnancies go faster buuuut if this is faster, than that last pregnancy I had never ended because this one sure isn't. There's really nothing wrong with being pregnant (just kidding again - there's lots) but it would be nice to be myself again. I'm looking forward to having this perpetual bad mood over with. 

So far, which at this point includes the entire pregnancy....since I have taken so long to blog about it....I have felt GOOD. I really shouldn't complain, but I still do...quite a bit actually! Positive comments would include: I didn't really feel sick much at the start, it's been winter the entire time allowing me to hibernate and be a complete lazy bum, I have really enjoyed eating whatever the crap I want, we bought an exercise bike that can count as exercise no matter how slow I pedal on the lowest gear, and I don't have pre-eclampsia this time (HURRAH!!!). My main complaint, since we all know you came here to hear me whine, is I mentioned...I have been in a bad mood for 9 months. I've just been really grouchy. Not to the point of utter sadness or despair...just a GROUCH. I want to kick everyone in the grocery store, I don't want the cashier to talk to me, I want the waiter to leave us alone, everyone is annoying....everyone is in my way....everyone is ruining my day. I consider myself a fairly social person, not that I'm great at being social but other people generally make me happy, so I miss that part of myself and am looking forward and hoping that I actually do get it back. Hopefully the pregnancy is to blame and I haven't just morphed into a troll. 

I'm not sure if it's common for women to have panic attacks when they go into labor, but I'm completely certain that is what is in store for me. I remember a few things too well from last time, and I'm terrified. I have been telling Al this constantly, seeking some sort of reassurance that everything will be okay...buut he happened to be there too last time it happened, and I think he is equally as nervous. He did say to me once the other day though..."when it's happening, and it's bad...just remember you've got an awesome support team..." and then he turned his computer and showed me this pic...

I've been smiling about it every since. 

We don't know the gender of the baby, nor do I care. How could I not want another little boy after having Henry? And how could I not want a little girl after dressing Henry up like a little girl? 

(Al was leesssss than impressed with this stunt). 
Please don't mind the disaster of a house behind the child, we were putting the shared baby room together and Henry was playing right in the middle of it because he must be within 3 feet of me AT ALL TIMES (I secretly love it). 

Here I am: 

Huge. The only cute part about this is you can kinda see Hen in the bath behind me. Also I'm hiding my fat arm pretty good, I'm the best at that!! 

Well, this has been random! :)