Sunday, March 27, 2011


A handful you may know that when I laugh and think it's funny, it tends to be excessively and unnecessarily loud. And it's usually involving something inappropriate. And now, I present to you....what got the best reaction out of me today.

PS I think my blog has developed a fatally chronic disease. And you know what happens with those. But we'll see if I can pick up my game. It's kind of sad when you get too lazy to sit on a computer, but it's happened. All I ever feel like doing on here is posting SNL clips anyways...and me and Jen and Derick seem to be the only people left in the world who still watches that. What the HECK YOU GUYS.

Ok more later....maybe...?

Monday, March 14, 2011

Little Girls, Little Girls

I was having a little bit of a day today. Daylight savings is actually seriously gay and so is working early shift the day after dalight savings. If you don't count the time change, I was up at 3:45 this morning. So I was in a mood all morning. Alan was scared. I didn't get much done at work and a certain someone was being a tad bit too loud and giving me a headache. On top of these things that aren't really even bad but just seemed kind of bad...ok..., I had to get needles in my gums and pay a grand to sit in a dentist chair and get my face drilled off. POO BAGS.

But then guess who I saw?

I am in love with this little girl. Whenever I'm on my way to Jen's, I go at least 20 over the speed limit cause I am just way too excited to see her. She hugs me and cuddles with me and picks me first to take her to poo on the potty....which is obviously deemed a significantly high honor. Today she sang me a tune while I played the piano. Man alive, that kid!

So me and Dix took her to the merc today to pick up some chocolate. We said hi to gramps and were walkin around when I saw my mom-in-law! So I went to talk to her and Chloe was just suckin away on a sucker being adorable when I heard Dix yelling at me that she was choking. She was red in the face and her eyes were tearing up and she seriously was NOT breathing. I lost my mind. I do pretty well in high-stress situations. I did about five 360's and held my hands on my cheeks with my eyes and mouth as wide as possible (Home Alone) while I'm pretty sure Dix did the same thing. As I ended one of my turns, I see my mom-in-law doing the Heimlich on her. Oh darn, should have thought of that. So she started sputtering and coughing and eventually said Tina a few times. She then proceeded to throw up for about 20 minutes in the middle of the isle while we caught it with napkins and also while I gagged my brains out. Anyways, she was fine. And DJ saved her life while I spun in circles.

It scared the heebiejeebies out of me and I was glad all Jen had to see of it was Chloe saying "I bawfed mom...I sick mom...." when we got home. The poor chum!

I just love that little girl like a whole freaking lot. She is the number one reason I have a hard time with the thought of moving away when Al gets into school. Sure, there are plenty of other reasons, but she takes the cake. You certainly know I absolutely adore and crave Ash and my boys, but Chloe just absolutely made my crap-fest day wonderful today.

LOVE YOU CHLOE BUTT FACE!!!! (Jen can you tell her I said so? Thanks)

Monday, March 7, 2011

Hi. Remember Me?

Yes it has been a month. But in my defense, February is a preeetty short month. If you round it down, it only counts for like two weeks. So you have to forgive me because it has been a slight bit of a busy two weeks. I finally decided today..."you know what, I am going straight home after work (oops already didn't do that) and am sitting on my fat lazy butt all night until I fall asleep at 8:30 trying to help Al study". So I thought of the things I could do while sitting. I came up with blogging, painting my toenails, ordering myself a birthday present online, staring off into space thinking about nothing, putting music on my iPod, picking at my hair, picking at my eyelashes (these are my favorite habits ever), and waiting for Grey's to come on. I can pretty much guarantee you that I finish this post and fall asleep until Al shows up to wake me up wherein I get him to throw in a frozen pizza and stay awake just long enough to eat and then fall asleep again. Best day ever.

Anyhoo, I guess I'll just give ya a little go round of what we've been doin.

Backing up about a month or so, I had the best day of MY LIFE. I get really hyped up about idiotic holidays like St. Patty's Day or Easter or Valentine's Day. I think it all stems back to the time when I lived with my mom and she always bought me presents on these days like it was Christmas or my birthday or something. Yaaa, no big deal but you wish you were me right now. Or I guess you wish you were me a couple years ago. So naturally, I was in a good mood on the 14th. Me and Al told eachother we loved eachother like 45 times via texting and we had all sorts of chocolate and cake and chocolate cake at work. And I freaking WON the raffle prize basket. Once again, you shuld have seen the look on my face. I absolutely lost it when they brought it to my desk. I felt like I was on some sort of talk show getting randomly selected for a trip to the Bahamas or a car or something. I was in hysterics (the good kind). After about 10 minutes of being a complete and utter spaz about it, everyone went back to work and I felt like a pretty good idiot, but in the end, it was still a hella sweet basket.

Look at those goods! I even got to keep the basket!

Then Al shows up with PURDY'S chocolates and a stuffed Pepe Le Pew who says all sorts of ridiculous things like "oh my golden girl, you are my corned beef to me, muah muah muah, I am the cabbage to you MUAH MUAH MUAH" and "it is love, love, love at first sight! No? Is it not? No? Yes?" It's funny, I swear. And I slept with Pepe for a week or so just cuddling him in between me and Al. I have no idea why, I just felt like it OK!

Then I think we went out for dinner or something. I really can't was like two weeks ago.

I think this was on V-Day too. A love bird that actually liked us and didn't chomp at our fingers. It was presh. Ok, he kind of chomped, but it was the kind of chomp that really meant something, ya know? I know what you're thinking...."Tina, just get a freaking pet already and stop bothering the poor little animals at the pet store every 10 minutes!". Relaaaaax, you guys.

I bought a shirt the other day that changes color in the sun. It's really neat. I picked it up in the store and tried it on and it was that nice poopy brown/beigy color that I love. I was pretty excited cause it hung out far enough that I actually forgot about my gut every once in a while. So I threw the little number on this morning. At work today we had a fire down the hall from us and so had to be rushed outiside (you shoulda seen the look of terror on my face) and it was a miracle cause the sun was out. So I am just talkin with my peeps or whatever and I look down at my shirt and would you look at that? It has turned itself a hideous shade of shiny lilacy purple. So don't go to Gap and buy this shirt. Unless you like the color purple, which I guess is cool too...?

So I still hate working, if you wanted to know. I don't want to directly say I hate my job, because I don't THINK I do. But it's hard to tell with all the negativity I feel to being employed interrupting my thoughts every time I try to decifer how I feel about my actual job. It's an ok job. Just, sometimes I get a headache. And sometimes I want to go do something else rather than work. And sometimes I don't want to start working on the weekends. MAN. I've said it before and I'll say it again, who invented women having independence? I want to be treated like the useless house wife that I am, please!

Another thing that happened was Al got some interviews to some med schools! Biggest turn on EVER. Of course, they are in the same weekend and of course they are both like 6-8 hours away from us in opposite directions. So, I'm thinkin we have ourselves a little road trip on our hands. I've been trying to help Al practice for these interviews, but I just get so tired, ya know? Pretty much every night it has been us sitting in bed with me holding the timer in my hands while Al puts every effort in his bones into answering the question. And then you look over, and there's little old me hunched over snoring while the timer slowly escapes my grasp and slips out of my hands. Heaven knows why he picked ME to marry.

But when I pop one out real soon here, it's going to look like this. So that's pretty much the best news I've ever heard.

I can't get enough of this picture. Al's g-ma Beaz gave it to us in our Christmas card and I turn to it oft for a quick shot of happiness. Ok and I'm not pregnant just planning on having 35 babies cause babies are awesome. You'd want 35 too if you played with Ashley for a minute and a half and also if your husband looked like that when he was little.

Remember that one time I made new years resolutions? Well, you'll be impressed to hear, I'm sure, that I'm following through. I have been runnin my chunky legs off for months, and they seem to remain chunky. Puh. What gives? Oh, maybe it's that 50 pounds of chocolate I put away in a week. Wooo-hooops. I am signed up for the Calgary half and am not looking forward to it at all but AM looking forward to Olive Garden after.

And as for my first real calling....oh, my dear sweet little Sunbeams. I was a tad bit anxious going into this thing as I get quite upset and angry with children very easily (I yell at Chloe more than J does) but guess what? My Sunbeams don't make noise. I sometimes wonder if they breath. I have five to die for little 3 year olds in my class and they sit there and listen about 78% better than I do. I am convinced they also know more of the answers to the questions than I do too. Yup. I sit there during sharing time and avoid the teachers eye contact hoping she won't ask me anything. There's me, just hanging out in junior primary not knowing any answers. Al says it's time for us to get one of those picture scripture books so I can learn all the stories. He doesn't understand that I'll just forget them in a week and be back to drawing blanks. When I got the calling I told the prez that "this is perfect! I was just hoping for kids that weren't smarter than me!". Well, that didn't turn out real great, did it? JK, I'm mostly joking, Sunbeams is perfect for me. I mean I do know who Jesus is and what my dad's name is, so I think I'm keeping up to the kids pretty ok.

And my last and most exciting update by far: me and Al are going on a TRIP. A cruise to be exact. We start in Miami and go to four different islands and eat whatever we want whenever we want and act like fools if we feel like it for 7 days! It is our postponed-by-one-year honeymoon! We leave on our anniversary and don't ever come back cause I'm moving to Florida.

TO FINISH, I will leave you with my recent doppleganger discoveries:

Ok maybe the anteater one is a little harsh but I couldn't help myself cause it's on my mind everytime I watch her talk! Sorry Britta!