Thursday, October 27, 2011

Virtual Tour

As previously promised to a total of 2 people (of whose opinions I obviously hold of upmost prestige), I took some pictures of my house and am posting them. I even got out the old point and shoot, even though I am 100% positive Al's 4G takes 100% better pictures. I think my point and shoot started giving me attitude when I had it set up on three books on the back of the couch doing a balancing act while me and my roomates made a dancing movie. Needless to say, it dropped and broke for a few days. It did come back to life, but has SUCKED ever since. 

Enjoy your grainy pictures. Any complaints, send some money for me to afford a new cam.                                    

Our kitchen is my favorite. I thought that I would hate how closed off it is, but I ended up obsessed with it. It's like my own little space and I love the cupboards and counter top. The floor is disgusting and I can't believe I missed that cup on our portable dishwasher. I tried so hard to move all the messes BEHIND me so they weren't in the shoot, but you can't win em all can ya? Sometimes, that cup wins.

The living/dining room. I really have nothing to say except that in front of the map is where our other couch is going to go and taking a picture of a chandelier is hard work and I made that deer head out of foam board. It is seriously so ugly but it took so much freaking bloody time that I decided to hang it up. That little wood table in front of the couch serves a lot more purpose than our dining room table...which is still our favorite J, don't worry.
I like the arches in our house....including the front entrance. The shoe organization going on here is an extremely rare occurence.  Savor it.
This is the duvet cover I made the other day! I found this fabric at thrift village (I sound so cool) and was like "I'm going to make a duvet cover out of this, and a dress, and a little girls matching dress, and put some of it into the quilt I'm making!" turns out I didn't even have enough for the duvet cover, but I made it work. I LOOVE IT.
Try to ignore that laundry hamper.  That thing is a DUMP. I've had it since I was like 14 and obsessed with black and my mom let me paint my room black and dresser black and dye my hair black...and get a black laundry hamper. why mom? why? look at that, i just officially got too lazy for proper punctuation...oh my gosh i'm going to fall aslsldfkseeeeep.

This is the dresser I painted. You can't really see the color that great in this shot, but it's maroon and I LOVE IT too. I love everything about our room except the laundry hamper. Oh look, I'm capitalizing again. Special.

And here is where Al is ALWAYS. He is supposed to build shelves in here to put his disgusting amount of text books on instead of in boxes and all over the floor like they are but he is studying all the time so when is he going to build shelves?

I am way too tired for this post but I wanted to show Sam my cute door knobs....I think you can see them in the hallway picture. The picture I tried taking of the door knob itself was actually seriously gross. It was like a mess of light and grain and someone give me some money for a camera pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

Alright then, I think I'l take a nap on my desk. Yes, my desk. Yes, I am at work.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


The other day I had youtubed the song Someone Like You by Adele and was listening to it. Al discovered a while ago that he likes her songs so has listened to a few...and after we listened and watched the video he was like "see...(clearly he'd been thinking about this for a few minutes)...she has a cool voice and everything...but you can sing better than her." Now, my dear sweet little readers, I can't sing. I DO sing all the freaking time and pretend that I can and make Alan listen to the entire song every time I want to pretend I'm a fame-bot...but I'm rotten at it. And he was completely and utterly serious about his epiphany.

I call them love goggles. Or wait, maybe I call them marriage goggles. Crap I can't remember now but it's one of those two and you get the point. Marriage/love...same thing....well for us anyways...and I hope for you too. Really, I hope that! Marriage goggles are worn to trick you into thinking your wife is glorious beyond all compare when she really is a frumpy, dumpy mess who has developed dementia at the ripe age of 22.

They are the best. They trick him into thinking I am the freaking-sweets. Alan thinks I'm he really thinks that you guys. He says I look like a super model. FUNNY RIGHT? And he thinks I'm funny. It usually takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to think of a witty retort or quote from 30 rock (those usually come faster), but even after I leave the room and come back to say my hilarious comment from the conversation half an hour ago, he always has a good, real laugh.  None of this courtesy crap (I don't believe in courtesy laughs BTW, so neither does he). He loves my hair. He thinks it's the nicest hair anyone's ever had! (or something like that). My hair is the worst. If Mango Tango is reading this, she can back me up on this, and she's a hairdresser, you know. I take horrible care of my already thin stringy hair so it's even more thin and stringy and also I'm a tard and don't know how to style it without looking like a wet rat.

I love Alan and his marriage goggles. I love that he wears them and that he glued them to his forehead for eternity.

It's not our anniversary or anything, I just wanted to say that I love Al. He wears a stethescope to school. And spending every spare second with him is just a delectable and darn good-looking treat.

I wrote this like a week ago and forgot that I had...but now that I'm posting it I'm realizing this could be a thanksgiving post! I am THANKFUL for ALAN!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


Change is good. Change is so good, in fact, that I am going to put it as the title of my blog post and pretend to blog about it but probably go off ranting about some stupid angry tangent. But for now, let us discuss all things "change".

I started my new job today! I have been at orientation for two days (woof) and today started work (woof). Yes, we all know I despise a good job but, nevertheless, I'm excited about this new one of mine. I'm working at the university hospital right next to my big boy Al-Bear...could that be any more picture perfect and adorable? We get to drive together every morning and walk two glorious hours together from the parking lot to the hospital...I'm sure it will be truly magical every morning when it's 40 below and my eyes and nose are frozen shut and my legs feel like 300 lbs of rock solid ice. Can't wait. So yes, my new job is in the Pathology Department and it's just very new and different and the people I work with are in the same generation as me and I'm very excited despite the fact that I can't sit on my couch and watch Say Yes to the Dress all day anymore. Cause that was kind of freaking awesome.

More things concerning change: this new city. Saskatoon is singing to me. It's singing me songs like "I'm so pretty and look at my river and all the paths to run and walk on and look how nice everyone is and how all the people in the church here are so for la la". I think Saskatoon just made that one up on the spot but it was pretty good...I mean for improv and everything. I am just really enjoying our new life out here. I read a quote on Pinterest (get ready for a tangent on that) that said something liiiike..."home is where you are". Or something super gay. But gay stuff almost always makes me cry...including that inappropriate image I have of Jim Carrey in that one gay movie he made...but I just decided I need to stop being homesick and realize that I AM home cause my Al-Bum is here. And he's a tarty fart sweetie pie with a great ass butt.

And then there is Pinterest. I have so much to say to you Pinterest but all I can say is beware if you are a stay at home mom or if you have a job because you will have to quit that job due to excessive scrolling and pinning and clicking and reading and planning and dreaming...OH PINTEREST WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

Ok ok ok. I'll refrain. Another change (can you believe I'm still on topic...holy crap). We have been eating healthier in our house. I promised I wouldn't blog about this until I lost 10 lbs...but every time I almost make it there I go to Dairy Queen so whatever....screw it (I am obviously the BEST at dieting). I started WeightWatchers a while ago. I did it good for like 3 weeks and ever since just kind of don't do it. But I do eat waaaaay healthier. And I feel golden. Like I'm made of gold. And I poop at least twice a day. And if you know me, you know that poop is pretty much gold to me. Did I just hear you judging me?

Eating healthier makes you feel better. End of story. I still eat crap, but just not constantly. Did I just hear you being proud of me?

I hung this picture up in my house. I got it off a little thing I liked to call Pinterest and just printed it right off our totally rad and free printer. I was impressed with that little gaffer! It's just a nice picture that makes me think of me and Al and this little journey we are currently embarking on....a journey I like to call LIFE...(I figured I might as well take that lame little comment and run with it). 

Up up and away!

Well I know I promised ONE of you that I would blog my house but I haven't cleaned it ever yet so just keep waiting and your patience will pay off in the end....I'm sure. I also am missing a couch but we can work around that I think. Can't we? Come on, we can do it!!! Ok umm happy birthday to Chloe this weekend and Chloe if you're listening I love you and tell your mom you want to come to my house far away and visit me.

Monday, August 29, 2011

hello my name is unemployed

Ok hi fine I'll post a dumb blog. I now officially reside in Saskatoon. My life is so strange right now...strangely glorious. I am unemployed...coming up on a month now...and I am obsessed with being unemployed. That's all you really need to know. I don't want a job. But still I seek employment at every clinic and hospital in the city...what is my freaking problem? I actually already have a job but just haven't started yet. And am open to someone paying me more. So ya...that's where I am right now. Uuuuuuh Sasktoon is pretty. It really is...I'm not just blowing smoke out my behind. It's gorgeous here. And people are very friendly and we're making friends and yada yada yada it's great. But I'm still 7 hours away from my I'm not going to say I love Saskatoon quite yet...don't get your hopes up high in the sky fly high bird sky. ...  .....?

Al has started med school. His class consists of about 80 students and he is the only married one and the only one who doesn't look like they're 12 too. Anyways he comes home from school the other day...and I was jabbering about something unimportant and stupid that somebody unimportant and possibly stupid did to me and he responds by saying "ass wipe." I about crapped myself (I have never heard Al swear before) and realized that my husband is a changed man. He swore three more times that day.

I must tell you, I have a swearing obsession. Minus the big F bomb, I like to swear. I think it's funny and I have been known to have a problem. Since being married to and just generally being around my in-laws, I have learned to not do it very much ever...but I still secretly have a dirty mouth. Just don't tell my mother in law. Actually, you can, I'm sure she can sense what I'm going to say when I stop myself in the middle of my story after.. saying "what a b....". Uuuuh.

So anyways, short story long, I feel like our lives are going to be very different around here. And that makes me happy because it's a good change. Not just the swearing thing, but just US in general. But Al is already too busy for me to handle and me too not busy but I can handle it. So if anyone in Sasktoon is out there and ALSO bored, I AM HERE and I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND.

Here are some pictures for you and yours. Out of order, just like you like them.

 This is me in a giant hand coming out of the ground.
 This is a photo I Instagram'd of me and Smashy. Oh how I miss that baby. Don't make me cry stop talking about it!
 This is my favorite person in the world who I also miss even though he's only about 15 feet away. In his new office studying. Good thing the Bach Pad comes on in 25 minutes! WHAAAAAAAAAT best show ever.
 Saskatoon is pretty. Remember how I told you that already?
 Saskatoon also has a few beaches. Ya, beaches. And me and Al spent lots of time on them before he started school cause we both had no job and no friends.
 We like to ride our bikes even though I sit crooked on mine so my crotch gets really sore on the left side after about 30 minutes. Totally worth it cause the paths here are pretty. But I already told you that.
 See! Big sexy beach!
 Another thing we did before school started was go couch shopping. We couch shopped so much that I actually yelled at Alan to just PICK ONE because I was SICK of looking at them! And then the next day we took this one home and I'm sitting in it and it's so comfy and you are jealous of my new couch!

Oh and I just noticed myself in the mirror behind snapping the photo! Always a good thing to find! ha ha awesome!
Freaking Alan took me to the fair. I freaking love him and also I love things that little kids love...and I love them as much as little kids do and I act exactly like a little kid at them.

BYE BYE NOW. I typed this post in 10 minutes. Love you. I especially love you for not finding me and killing me after having put you through this torture! HA better luck next in next time my post will be better k I promise.

Monday, July 11, 2011

how to make your husband do stuff for you

I've never believed in reverse psychology. But a few weeks ago I gave Al a big fat dose of it, and it got me pretty far. So now I guess I have no choice but to believe in it. Clap your hands above your head and sing with me now, I BELIIIEEEEVE!  You just have to be reeally sneaky when you are dishing it out. And it has to be used on a man. A man that is determined to succeed and please your every need. Ya, I have one of those living in my house...aint no thaaang (I am feeling very 'Queen Latifah' today...I recommend the 30 Rock episodes featuring her). 

It all started when Pam posted yet another cruel Urban Outfitters link. I harmlessly scrolled down, and the next second I was jumping up and down on my bed, my computer flailing this way and that, pointing and gasping to Alan that I NEEDED what was on the screen. I wish I was exaggerating this story...but I swear to you that I am not. Here is what I saw. Sorry I don't know how to get the picture off of there and don't feel like trying. 

So I kept this charade up for a few minutes to show Al how much I wanted and would spend 400 bucks on it. I don't know why I liked it so much since I usually could care less to spend money on anything other than clothes or food, but it just like hit me right in the deepest place of my heart that I needed this headboard. Plus we really like to watch movies in bed while we eat supper in bed, so a couch back for a headboard? Yes please and thank you very much. 

I posted it on FB and 20 seconds later, the very dependable FB'er Jennie Holt sent me a link on how to make your own upholstered headboard. Man, I am linking up all kinds of things in this post. It's a new record! Of course I couldn't do it on my own, so that's where the reverse psychology came into play. 

Here's how I made it happen and how you can make it happen by following these three simple steps:
1. Complain and wine exceedingly about how important this is to you and how you'll be forever in his debt if he can just do this one simple thing. Remember "it's all you ask of him" (make sure you sing this even more beautifully than Raoul on Phantom)
2. List all the projects your man hasn't done for you. Be sure to never mention anything that he has done. Be very negative about things you have asked him to build and that he hasn't.
3. Challenge his masculine power and abilities to complete the task. 

Hopefully your results are as good as mine. 

So here's how he started. Al is really amusing to watch do stuff. He mapped this baby out for a good two hours before starting. Now let's step back and picture me doing this project on my own.....I'd get a piece of plywood...draw a shape that looked similar to the shape in the picture and maybe the size of the bed judging on my very expert memory on how big our bed is and how far I can reach across it with my arms...and go to town.  Well, Al had all the measurements perfect and everything set up perfect and we all mocked him the entire time, but I guess that's why I suck at everything and he is good at everything and I love him for it. 
 Van is a good helper. He's also hilarious, so that helped lighten the mood of me making Al work on this all July 1 :)  (cute grin that makes you not hate me).
 So we put some foam and fluffy quilt stuff on top of the plywood....
 And then we started to upholster it which took for EVER. We had to put a needle through 2" of foam and fluffy stuff into a hole the size of......well, a needle. It was almost impossible to find that ________ hole. Man I wanted to swear but I'm really working on discarding of my swearing problem. Anyways, it was also really hot and I was sweating which, as you may have noticed, I do a lot lately. Mmmmmm yumm-ay.
 And here's our headboard. Cute eh? I did want to do it pukey yellow or poopy green but couldn't find the fabric and hate ordering stuff online so it's grey and I'm looking for a duvet cover to match as the one we currently have is the exact same color as this headboard.

Oh man I can't even get a breath in edgewise in this post....(HUGE EXHALE)
I really need a pillow update. All in good time, my dear, all in good time.

So there ya go, my husband is awesome and good at everything he does! And I love my new headboard and no I won't make you one!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

what has everyone been up to, what's the hot gossip, tell me everything.

Here are some pictures. Let me see if I can share their story while my already fat fingers swell up and my brow drips perspiration in my 33 degree house. The heat is inescapable and NO I am not complaining. I love it. But this computer is radiating too much heat. I'll hurry. Shut up Tina. 

Alan thinks it's amusing that I call all baby ducks duckies with no intention of talking like a 5 year old or a gay man. I just think that's what they should be called cause they are so ducking cute (quack quack (as in a duck laughing)). I followed these little gaffers around for about an hour at Henderson and if the freaking mom wouldn't have been such a control freak I would have swept one out from under her. Also, that is me acting like one! Just a lot bigger and a lot less cute. . 

This pic is from over three years ago, when me and Al began our love affair. I can't really believe how this all turned out...I was just being nice to a guy in a neck brace and look where it got me...

And here he is this year...doing the same hike....but slower this time as the woman in the situation has let herself go a little. Nonetheless, I am so happy Al got out of that disaster safe and sound. I worry about his back every single day but we hiked a mountain this I'd say he's doing pretty good. What a good boy! arf arf! 

 So ya, we took a little trip to Waterton this last week. I took three days off work after the July 1 weekend (which was fun too but I have no pictures of). We camped in our cute, not so little 6 man tent.  I love Waterton and am going to miss being so close to it.  This pic is both of us at Wall Lake.

We biked up to Prince of Whales and just sat up there for a while. I had to tuck my shirt into my bra straps cause the wind kept trying to take a peak at my lady friends.  

Also while in Waterton, I discovered that Al looks hilarious when he fills his mouth up with air. 
This is the mountain we hiked. Mt. Galwey. It was beautiful...I love being on top of a matter how much heat stroke I get on the way up.  

 This is what we were climbing up. And a shot of my butt cause I know how my readers love those.
 The nice folk that let us tag along. Lauren, her beau, Poop, and Ames.

 A cliff. Pooped my pants a little.
We hired someone to hike up the mountain with us and pose us for this picture. Totally worth it, right? 

While I'm talking about Waterton, in April when the place was still bombarded by snow, we went snow shoeing. There was lots of snow. I was going to post these pictures but then didn't so here we are. These pics actually make me miss bundling up. It's the only good thing about winter. You can hide so much under there!

 Pregnant with gloves and hats.
 Walked right up to the roof.

K bye love you. 

Sunday, June 26, 2011

buy, sell, buy, sell, funny money boom bang!

The title of this is just a quote that's stuck in my head because we have been posting on Kijiji all day.  If anyone can name what it's from, satisfaction is your reward.

Just so you guys know, that goal I made a while ago to be optimistic and happy is going quite splendid, I'd say. Aside from those three days in a row last week full of insane hormone swings and raging screaming fits at my sweet husband that I have since begged forgiveness for, things have been great. I don't even have to do my hair anymore or put make up on because I just really don't care. I guess this could be classfied as letting myself go........buuuuut.....ya I don't know what to say. It's freedom in my eyes, ok!

Anyways, I don't have much exciting aka pictures to post so to thrill up this post I am going to separate it into a happy/sad post regarding these last few months and the next few months.

I'm happy that I have a husband that makes it so I literally have to search and scramble for stuff to blow up at him about. When I just HAVE to scream (which I do about once a month) it ends up being about a towel being not placed 'just so' on the rack...or him having a cold for too long or putting out his back. I really don't deserve my life.

We found a place to live in Saskatoon. We went there last week and it was a blast. I already feel like it's 30% home. So that means it will become home to me faster than I thought. The house we found is perfect. I love it. I need to paint it though so I am not charging for color suggestions.

I got a feather in my hair. This also is part of the sad list but I am happy that I got one cause I wanted one. More to come. I know, the suspense is killing you. No scrolling forward!

We had a yard sale this week and it went swimmingly. Me and Jen both had a bum load of stuff to get rid of and only had to take like 3 boxes for donation in the end. My house is a pretty prime location for reeling in H core garage saler's. Plus I got a sunburn so that's great. I am going to be a wrinkly melanomic mess one day, I know, but hopefully by then I won't care...or the world will end.

I'm still happy I married Al. No I'm not surprised about it but I am surprised how much more I love him all the time and how I can't not tell you this right now even though it's a big wad of cheese.

I'm happy about the cute TV stand Pam found for me in the dumpster by my house. It is white but really needs a paint job and, once again, free color suggestions today. YOU are WELCOME.

I'm happy that Al finally bought himself a guitar. And that he let me talk him into just spending the money to buy a nice one. It is pretty D sweet. You guys should let your husbands buy a guitar cause even if they can't play it, it's a pretty big turn on (just deal with the TMI, come on you can handle it). Especially if it looks like Al's. I should have taken a picture..sure it is sitting right beside me right now and my camera is pretty much touching my love handle...but it's Sunday and I'm not supposed to exert.

I'm happy that we went to see Bridemaids this weekend and that Jen came cause she is the best to go to movies with. She laughs louder than I do at funny movies...and you all know how much I love comedies...and some of you know how loud I laugh at them (inquire from my neighbors if curious). Just go to the was not a ra-tard like The Hangover (yes I just quoted and bashed the same movie in one sentence)...but Bridesmaids is actually richly hilarious.

I am just happy in general.

Leaving. Leaving the fam. If I say any more I might bawl like a baby cow. I think what they do is considered bawling...

Leaving my babies behind. I actually have already had crying fits about this because I am obsessed ok? I'm sure if the ladies at work here me talk about something Chloe did one more time they'll cut my head off. "She's not even your kid!! SHUT UP!" And I guess you can't steal pics from FB anymore? So so much for that. So I just linked the words "my babies" with the two blogs...look at how can I LEEAVE?!

And in regards to the feather, it was cool when they put it in but now I don't know what to do because it just sticks out the side of my head and I look like yankie doodle who is clearly a lunatic..  To top it off, it is grey and looks quite a bit like a seagull feather. Classy.

I'm not sad about anything else. Except for the big desk sitting in the middle of my living room and Alan hurting his back this week. These two things are related cause this thing is heavy. It is really nice and sturdy if you want to buy it! Same with a whole butt load of vases and a futon that hopefully you haven't read about before in this blog. If you haven't, it is liiiike REEAAALLLY comfy.