In an attempt to cut back on watching a pathetic amount of episodes of Cougar Town in one single day, I am on my blog. It's sad, and I know it, and I'm okay with it.
I quit nursing Henry almost a month ago now. It was a BIG step for me, and I can't believe I actually went through with it. My experience with breastfeeding was a good one, minus the first little while when that little suck wouldn't get on with it and get some food, but I eventually got attached, like I do with everything, and I thought letting go was going to break me. I figured I would go until Henry pushed me away, and was constantly worried he was never going to. Even though I was excited to be on the cover of Time Magazine, I suddenly just got up the courage one day. I woke up one morning and thought, let's just try to keep the boob in the shirt today. And I did. And the next day, did the same thing. No engorging...no screaming baby...nothing. Bizarre!! It worked! I had done the impossible!
Then about a week later, something snapped in Henry. I was in Edmonton visiting Breanne and one day he just freaked right the heck out. He started looking at my chest and LOST IT. He doesn't throw tantrums a lot, so it was clear what was going on. He was clawing at me and bawling uncontrollably, causing me to do the same. This happened a few times, and everything in between was a devastated, emotionally-distraught baby who didn't want anyone to touch him or look in his direction. He just wanted to be in my arms. And welcome to my month of June.
Not that I don't like him in my arms, cause I do...but my patience is limited (so many Cougar Town episodes to be watched you know...)
Anyway, just keep in mind I'm just blogging because I'm bored. It's been rainy and I've found myself staring at the wall a lot lately (my other form of not watching Cougar Town). Buuut on the bright side, quitting nursing has really been the most fantastic thing I've ever done for myself! (hello, selfish wench!) I just feel normal. I am back to being my usual, hormonal self. Happy sometimes, devastatingly down other times. Welcome back, PMS.
And welcome to my personal life, blog readers.
I have been alone too much lately. Not counting that baby always on my hip. Yes, this one.
My drooly messy baby whom I love just too darn much. Here's to hoping he is clingy and wants to sit on my lap forever. If anyone does watch Cougar Town, you'll understand why I relate to Courtney Cox's character so well - attachment issues at their finest). :)