Monday, February 7, 2011

Spaz Attack

Another awesome, thought-proving post by KGibb ladies and gentleman! Holla! Read it cause it's awesome! I clicked on her new post this morning while I was sitting at my desk thinking "wow, I'm here again. I spend like 90% of my time at this bloody freaking desk. Why can't I be home in bed watching Mean Girls while I drift in and out of sleep in an attempt to wake up? I just want to climb up onto my chair and then on top of the side of the cubicle and land on my computer and smash it to pieces along with my desk and then file for WCB and then stay home everyday and watch Mean Girls in bed and get paid". So then I read her post and thought for the entire rest of the day "Tina, you are such a drama queen. Your poor, poor...........poor husband".

So that lovely post was about what pushes you over the edge or your "tipping point". What brings you to the point where you can't hack it anymore and you dive into bed smushing your head into your pillow and scream and cry as loud as you can until you've lost your voice and your head is pounding and you're thinking "I should stop, this is killing my head". I've obviously done this before. I'm hoping someone else has or, man, do I feel like an idiot (as you think to yourself..."rightfully so, you are an idiot!")

All day long today I was thinking of things that make me crack. (probably not always as severe as the one up here ^). As I came to realize today, I have far too many of them. No particular order here.

1. Getting rescheduled. I plan. I'm not sure why, since I'm not really an organized person, but I wake up and while I'm in the shower, I draw little ticks on my imaginary board in my head and place things in the exact order they will happen that day. Heaven for-freaking-bid they don't all go according to plan. HEAVEN FOR-FREAKING-BID!

2. Making rice krispy squares. Ok, lets just take a huge bowl of a billion of the lightest fluff puffs in the world and poor a hot sticky pot of melting marmallows into it and now lets just mix it, and remember, lets not spill any...oh do it quick cause you only have like 10 seconds to do this cause the sticky stuff is gonna get hard real soon. Like, where is my mom to make these for me? And why must they be so ridiculously delicious and cheap?

3. Being up past 10. I'm like a little newborn baby. Feed me, sleep me, and if you're lucky, you'll get a smile. But keep me up past my bedtime, and you might as well just lock me in a room and leave cause I promise you you'll hate everything else.

3. Socks. Now, I don't wear socks. The feeling of my toes not being able to wiggle freely drives me absolutely mad. But also, and something I've obviously never had to deal with until now, Alan leaves his socks in lots of fun and interesting places. Whenever he is done wearing them, he plants his feet shoulder-width apart and then slowly drags his feet across the floor, alternating left and right, until his socks have slid off. Then they stay there until I bend all the way over the ground, sacrificing my frail little back, and pick them up. Poor little drama queen me.

4. Sports on TV. You women that can sit there and watch a full football or basketball or hockey game with your beau and pretend to like it are saints. Absolute freaking saints.

5. Getting ready for church. When I see my next-door neighbors at church, I always avoid eye contact and anything that would lead to conversation.....cause there is absolutely no way they didn't hear me going "graaawrrrreeeerrrr" in my deepest manliest meanest maddest growl this morning, no way.

6. Charlie horses while I'm cleaning. I have two instances where I swear: when I'm making pervy jokes and when I get a charlie horse while I'm cleaning.

7. Talking in church. You know, I've learned a whole lot of really truly wonderful things to live by being a member of the Church, but one principal I've learned to live by and one I'm trying to teach Al is don't answer your phone if you don't recognize the number.

We have to talk in church on Sunday, and I've been having a big hairy spaz about it ever since Al picked up the phone call that I told him not to. I'm really bad at getting up in front of people and I'm even worse at expressing my feelings about personal things (hence, my entire blog...HAHA). But after reading that post this morning, I thought to myself "stop being such a freaking baby and get up there and preach!!" Then I decided to maybe not preach but to at least mumble some nonsense that I tried to be smart and write down and then smile real cute and sit down while Al makes up for the horrible job I just did.

And I should probably stop blogging and write a talk. Siiiiiiiigh. So, that is what I aspire to do. Little baby steps for this drama queen, but steps nonetheless. Please, I beg of you, wish me luck.

PS to cheer you up from what I kind of feel was a bummer of a post, here are two pictures that have the relation of true, genuine happiness. How could these not make your day?

Direct quote from this moment: "I am so happy right now".


becky said...

that point about answering the phone is sooo are heelarious

Kristen Gibb said...

I LOVED THIS. Tina, your posts are so vivid and hilarious! I don't think you are a drama queen, but if you insist! Knock 'em dead with your talk, I'm sure you'll do great! Thanks for the little shout out :)

Leah said...

most adorable nephew everrrrr!

PamH said...

CUTE BABY!! I'll try to remember to refer back to this cute pic next time I'm at MY tipping point, which always seems to happen in the middle of the night with this VERY baby! :)

Jennie Holt said...

ha ha ha i love that picture of Al....pure happiness.

you are the best drama queen i know. and stupid men. never NEVER answer the phone. and never NEVER make us watch football. pure torture!!

The Dudleys said...

Lol good post! Good luck with your talk. All I know is al is probably pumped about speaking and probably asked for them to call you...which explains his face in the last picture...

Jennie Holt said...

I am going to have a major spaz attack on you if you don't blog sometime SOON!!!