Wednesday, June 1, 2011

making goals like a grown up

So I finished my second half marathon..or halfer as I like to call it...last weekend. My time was slower than my time last year which is pretty gay but I'm just glad I didn't die. At about km 15, I was thinking to myself...."who the H put me up to this AGAIN"? But somehow, someway, my legs managed until the end.

So I tried to go for a run today because, of course, I am signed up for two races these next two Saturdays (my running group is insane) and legs wouldn't hardly move! I felt like such an idiot limping like the one guy in our run club with two broken knees...down the road. Oh well, the sun was out and that never happens so it was pretty much awesome.

I, of course, don't have a picture of the race because I miraculously remembered to pack the camera but evidently forgot to charge the battery. So I had Al at the finish line with my mom's camera and he, despite the 14 times I told him to, did not get a picture of me running. It's all I wanted in the world! I promised myself I'd never run another half marathon and that I'd need a picture of me actually running the flippin thing but Al just isn't very good at listening to instructions. I forgave him after I had some food. And there ARE some pictures of us posing with our medals looking real sick, I'll post them when they are in my possession.

So, Al getting into med school is SUCH a big deal for us. It shaves a whole year off of his schooling and makes it so we can move on with life, and we're so relieved. But the other day I was talking to my mother-in-law and she said something to me like..."don't you just wake up with a smile on your face??!?!" in reference to Al geting in to school.  I gave her this weird blank stare and then went something like this....(Liz Lemon style).."haaaa HAHA ha ha...ha....ha..." And then it was really akward and I had to try and dig out of the hole and explained that I really was excited about it all.

I've been thinking....why did I laugh like that? Why did I think it was so hilarious that I would wake up with a smile on my face? Well, I do NOT wake up with a smile on my face. It goes more like this...
hear my alarm
immediate hunger pains
barf at the thought of having to get in the shower and put clothes on
barf again at the thought of going to work
squeeze my butt and realize that it's all still there and didn't disappear over night
roll over and look in the mirror on our headboard and cry a little at what I see
try and wake Alan up at some point in there
finally get out of bed at the thought of the chocolate milk I get with my breakfast

There you have it, I am a pessimist. I have come to realize this lately, and it makes me sad. I want to be happier. So I am on the verge of trying. I'm trying to just be happy with what I've got. I have a normal face and my mom's eyes, so I try to focus on that. My hair is growing out and even though it looks like the bird crap on my car right now, it's long and that's fun. My unibrow is plucked for the time being. My legs still kind of work. My boobs aren't shaped like bananas...and so on and so forth.

Optimistic, eh??? But seriously, I have so much wonderful in my life. Alan is the most amazing person on the planet, I have the gospel in my life, my parents didn't disown me at a young age, my best friend is an angel sent from above, my hubs is gonna be a doctor someday, I have a good job, my family is fun and close, one of my nieces/nephews likes me.....haha oh crap I got sarcastic again...well actually not really...but I think the other ones are warming up to me.

Ok I love my life and I just need to remember that nothing sucks in it. I am making a real ACTUAL goal (something I usually try to avoid for fear of disappointment - pessimist). Look on the bright side. See the cup half full. Stop calling yourself fat. Stop blogging about the fact that you're fat.

I might still blog about that but I'm sure you guys are ok with it because everyone likes to hear that they are skinnier than someone...but here we keep smilin!! Next time you see me in real life, if that ever actually happens, drop kick me to the ground if I'm not laughing and smiling and singing Lou Bega!

Here is a pic of me and my buddy at the race expo..


Jennie Holt said...

ha ha ha my boobs aren't shaped like banana's. i might have laughed SUPER loud.

and seriously you think your fat now. i want to be as fat as you are someday. just be happy cause when you have kids its all downhill from there....boobs and all.

and nice pic i might have to steal it for the someday i blog about our run! regan said i look skinny, can you tell i am sucking in a few of my chins as hard as i can??

longest comment ever. I am excited for the new positive you. can't wait to drop kick you tho....just sayin.

Breann Clawson said...

legit post tina!! and yay that you did another halfer! and double yay that al got into med school! that's really amazing and i really wish court was in med school ... or had even taken the m-cat yet.... so your the winner!! that's something to smile about!