Monday, November 29, 2010

Grade X

Aaaaaah, look at this gem of a photo. Grade 10. What a year.

To state it as clearly as can possibly be put, I was a freak. I died my hair jet black at the beginning of the year and always had it, for the most part, completely covering my left eye. I was completely obsessed with being some type of "punk rocker". I wore the color black, only. I would only listen to what no one else did, and outside my little group of friends, everyone was a "poser" (what a ridiculous word). The most frequent "compliment" I got was that I looked like the grudge.

Ever since reading my dear friend (pictured above) KGibb4's blog this morning, I have been thinking about high school. Lots of people, like she says, dwell on the past and can't get out of high school. I'm kind of happy to say, I don't think I have that problem. While I miss having all my friends around me all the time and having the metabolism the size of Hong Kong, I do not, I repeat I do not miss high school.

High school is hard on you. It's where you are trying to learn to be who you are but while you are at it you're getting all kinds of crap chucked at your face. Fear of not standing out, self-esteem issues, dumb boys that think with the brain that isn't in their skull, favoritism, issues at home.....bla bla bla the list goes on and on.

It might be kind of sad to admit, but it's the truth when I say that everything I am trying to be in life and every goal I work towards is the opposite of who I was in grade 10.

First off, I want to be nice. I want to tuck my hair behind my ears and let everyone see my kind of big ears and big forehead and chubby cheeks. I want to listen to T-Swift and J-Biebs all day long and tell everyone that they are my "favorite band". I want to wear pink if I feel like it and ruffles and earings and necklaces all the way down to my toes if I feel so inclined. I want to tuck my Lulu pants into my Uggs and go up to the store. I want to look at people and genuinely smile at them and mean it from the bottom of my heart that I hope they "have a good day". I want to be loved by my hubs as much as humanly possible and listen to him ramble on about how pretty I am as long as he wants without stopping him. I want to love him back just as much....even if he does occasionally listen to Nickelback.

Yes sir, I once lived in a fear of conformity. I am happy to announce that I have decided to conform (really hope I'm using this word right) to whatever I darn well feel like whenever I darn well feel like it. My newest goal in life is to do whatever my heart desires even if it is what every other 21-year-old girl is doing. Being different is cool...if you're actually different.

Just beeeee yourself!


Jennie Holt said...


Nickelback?? seriously? I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. on the plus side i know what to get him for christmas now!! you're welcome.

BTW you were the best grudge non-conformist gothic punk wannabe a sister could ever ask for!!

Spring said...

I too was a little sad about the Nickleback part, but that is fine! He can like whatever he wants :) I sure did looooove this post. I'm glad you tuck your lulus into your boots to go to the store sometimes, because I do too. I remember in your grudge days we used to talk on msn a lot. no big deal or anything.

Tina Heggie said...

Oh come on guys, you know you still love Al!! He is the greats!

Jen, we have had this conversation like three times.

And Kaylee, your comments always make my day!

girluntitled said...

i left high school and never looked back. it was sucky-ucky.

Jennie Holt said...

i don't think you have ever told me that. maybe that convo was in your head?